I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This baby is an asshole
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
