i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
