His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
