Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
