Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
