quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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