just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
