Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
