I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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