It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
