literally had 100 drinks last night.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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