her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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