Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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