is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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