My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
