Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
