hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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