my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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