Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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