what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
