i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
