I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
