he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
