Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
