I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
