You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
