You're my little dorito
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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