she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
