Michael Bay diarrhea
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
