I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
