Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Randomize
