I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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