I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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