You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just took my morning after pill in the library
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
