I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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