but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
