well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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