Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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