Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
