yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
