You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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