So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize