i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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