weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Even my vagina gasped.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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