i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
