I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
