My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
