Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
