i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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