I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
