$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
