I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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