**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
