He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
