This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
