I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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