Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
