dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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