why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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