We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
