WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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