Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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